


Jack In The Box

by Latia



Series: 30 Day Otp Challenge [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, John and Rose are still John and Rose, Rule 63, they don't seem the type to give a crap about GIRL names and GUY names, trans headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-04
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2017-11-20 06:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/582101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latia/pseuds/Latia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes your girlfriend can be a pest, and sometimes she hides your package. What can you do.</p><p>(14. Genderswapped)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack In The Box

Rose comes into the kitchen one morning, frowzy-haired and frowzy-thoughted. John watches innocently from her seat at the table (surprisingly bright-eyed for that time of the day, she usually sleeps in late) as he begins to open and shut various drawers, seemingly rummaging for something. For several minutes this goes on, Rose pointedly ignoring John, until his shoulders slump in time with a defeated sigh.

He turns to his girlfriend. “John.”

John swallows her bite of Pop-Tart daintily. “Oh, good morning Sunshine. Did you have a nice—”

“Why don’t we skip the niceties and cut to the chase.” Rose walks up to John and stares from all five feet and four inches of imposing height. “John, where is it.”

“Where’s what?”

“…" He flushes, slightly. "Where is my dick.”

John pauses for effect. “…well Rose, in my experience, I have typically seen your dick between your—”

“You hid it somewhere, didn’t you.”

John holds a hand to her chest in feign hurt. “Oh-ho, Mister Lalonde! You wound me! How could you dare think an innocent, delicate maiden like me capable of such a… heinous act!”

Rose lifts his eyebrows. “A dick move?”

That makes John snort. “Okay, but seriously dude, it wasn’t me. You probably just left it the bathroom somewhere.” She pats the seat next to her. “Don’t sweat it, I’ll help you look in a bit. But chill out, have some waffles or something.”

Rose narrows his eyes suspiciously at John’s smile. Finally he sighs, shaking his head, and walks to the refrigerator. Behind his back John’s smile widens to a grin. She leans in expectantly as he reaches to open the freezer door…

“You know,” Rose suddenly says, back still turned, “if you had actually hidden it, I’d be forced to take immediate action. That is to say…” He half-turns back to her. “Revenge.”

John blinks. “What…by what? Stealing my boobs?” She snorts, smirking. “I’d like to see you try Rose, because unlike you I am constantly aware of potential thieves of—hey!!”

In a flash of movement Rose moves to the opposite end of the kitchen, a wave of cold air moving down John’s top. She spins around to find Rose holding her bra, smug as a cat with a dead rat. 

She sputters. “How the—oh my god, you ASS! Give it back!”

Rose steps back nimbly, smirking. “First be a dear and return my package.”

“You absolute—!”

John pushes a wave of air towards Rose, only for him to once more turn into a blur of movement, reappearing beside her ear. ”Eye for an eye, darling.”

She growls and spins to face him, meeting nothing but empty air. “You utter dick!! Flash-stepping isn’t fair!”

“Neither is striking when the target is asleep.” Rose appears in front of John, holding out her bra enticingly. “Now, where shall we go from here, oh queen of pranks?”

John hesitates, and finally crosses her arms in defeat. “Blurgh,” she spits. “ _Fine_. What does a porn star use as a murder weapon.”

Rose frowns. “What."

“Just go with it.”

The boy sighs. “I haven’t the faintest idea.”

John cracks a grin, in spite of herself. “An ice prick.”

A beat, and then Rose shoves the bra back into John’s hands. Quick as a flash she replaces and readjusts it, just in time to see Rose open the freezer door.

Rose stares.

“An ice prick.”

Rose meets her gaze.

“….cause it’s like ‘ice pi—.”

“Shut _up_ , darling.”

John giggles. Point goes to her.

**Author's Note:**

> so the prompt was just "Rule 63" and i wasn't sure what to do, other than just write a Grimdorks fic with the pronouns switched but then this just popped into my head
> 
> this is my first time writing something like this so feel free to give me any pointers!


End file.
